Me, me, MEEEEEE!! Self Care Reminder!!!

I wrote this about four years ago and found it again yesterday. It is still so relevant for me, but at the same time it flags how much things have moved on. I can’t work out if it was harder or easier back then, but I do know that I miss those days!

Me ME MEEE

This was Middlest’s most used phrase aged 18 months. It’s been usurped a bit by “me now” and “me want that” but you get the drift.  I know it’s no different to most toddlers (well I hope!).

Recently my three year old has been pioneering the phrase “You do it; it’s your job” when asked to tidy toys etc.  It’s bound to catch on – it’s so catchy.  My shock and horror doesn’t seem to have the desired effect.  Shock and horror rarely do I guess; he seems pretty chuffed with himself actually.

Well this morning I had what I hope was an epiphany.  They learn most from copying, but perhaps a lot of the copying is pretty subtle.

Maybe they’re learning as much from my second class approach to my needs, as they are from my kindness and consideration towards them.  Maybe I am in danger of martyr motherhood?  Am I carving out a niche I don’t want? What’s cute aged 3 may really hack me off at 13??? And perhaps for the 10 years in between 😬.

As I pondered this I sat down and enjoyed my breakfast slowly. Despite the mess. Despite the jobs. On the way back from playgroup I got myself some new makeup (rather than some different shaped pasta – for them to cry and scream at when I cook it obvs).  I told them I was having a treat.  Apparently they were too; but there wasn’t one.  To be fair they didn’t push.  They were too gobsmacked.  Why did Mummy need a treat? I thought she was a machine?

And this afternoon while we host a play date, I will try and use the phrase “Hang on a minute I am just enjoying talking to Jo” at least three times. Assuming Jo and her little boy come round as planned, otherwise it’ll just be weird. And a tad confusing.

Biggest was really baffled by the chilling with my breakfast thing.  So much so I thought I must do this every Thursday.  Every Thursday?!?  Get a grip.  We make sure our little ones’ needs are met every day and quite right too (as I type mine are munching their sandwiches / napping, while I push them home post playgroup fun with their friends) but we must make time for ourselves as well.  They need to see your needs are important and looking after yourself is probably the best way of showing them.

They’ll always be more mess, more noise…and of course more smiles and laughs.  So while it’s all going on make some time for you.  Don’t wait until they’re all in bed.  I’m a bit slow to catch on – sensible people probably already do this?  How many times a day I wonder?…is three the magic number?  Or should it be more…ooooh exciting and it is all for their emotional development and of course ME!

14 comments

      1. Absolutely!! It’s so easy to get caught up in the kid’s needs and things around the house etc that we easily forget ourselves. Great reminder to yourself (and me!) xx

  1. Me time is one of the hardest things to achieve. It is not something which comes naturally ( not to me, anyway). It’s something which has to be cultivated. I am still working on it. 🙁

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