Could you be Kinder to Yourself?

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I can still remember the first time I got it back.

I was looking for a house to pick up an eBay purchase from – a baby paraphernalia bargain.  I couldn’t find the property and kept driving around the same loop.  Feeling a bit frustrated with myself I said “I am so rubbish with directions, it is ridiculous.”

Up pipes a little voice in the back “Don’t worry Mummy, sometimes I can’t do everything first time.  Sometimes you just have to try again.” Tears filled my eyes, he was only three and a half.

I can still remember the first time I consciously tried it.

We had pretty much just pulled up outside playgroup.  Me, my two year old and six month old.  Without my baby bjorn it would have been impossible.  My number one rule for coping (just) with two children not quite 18 months apart had always been that “at least one must be restrained when out and about”.  I had forgotten the baby bjorn; I had to go home and get it.

Anyway, I had recently read about the importance of being kind to yourself (for you and also your children), as mirroring is one of the many (I reckon biggest?) ways that little people learn.

So, on the drive home I said to myself out loud, on a bit of a loop, “Don’t worry Mummy, everyone forgets things sometimes, it’s no big deal, you can pop back and get it.”  Forget the kids in the back of the car, this was great therapy anyway.

There have been many more times in between.  I have had SO many opportunities to practise being kind to myself – broken jars, forgotten wallets, lost keys, the list goes on…..and on…….

So he has got the be kind to me bit, he has copied it and is (sometimes) kind to me.  I just hope it becomes ingrained, so that he is automatically kind to himself as he learns, develops and faces the inevitable challenges life brings.

And being kind to myself works for me too.  Although I need some strategies as constantly rooting around in my bag / looking for my keys etc is a bit draining!*

*First published on my old blog.My thoughtful 3.5 year old is now a kind, caring 6.5 year old. Where did that time go??

For more ramblings (as well as little ideas for happy families and sugar/dairy and often gluten free recipes) visit http://www.particleparenting.co.uk

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