Getting it Back
I can still remember the first time I got it back. When the whole “be kind to yourself” thing did it’s first full loop. I was looking for a house to pick up an eBay purchase from and could I find the property? Could I heck?! Despite satnav and a thorough map research in advance, I kept driving around the same loop! Frustrating! Feeling oh so slightly annoyed with myself I said “I am so rubbish with directions; this is ridiculous.”
Up pipes a little voice in the back “Don’t worry Mummy, sometimes I can’t do everything first time. Sometimes you just have to try again.” Tears filled my eyes, he was only three and a half.
Giving it Out; be kind to yourself
I can still remember the first time I consciously tried it. When I took on the whole “Be Kind to Yourself” thing.
We had pretty much just pulled up outside playgroup. My two year old, my six month old and me. Without my baby bjorn it would have been impossible. My number one rule for coping (just) with two very young children had always been that “at least one must be restrained when out and about”.
This is a slight exaggeration and they were exceptions but I needed the option of hands free and the ability to chase after the two year old! I had forgotten the baby bjorn; I had to go home and get it.
Anyway, I had recently read about the importance of being kind to yourself (for you and also your children), as mirroring is one of the many (biggest?) ways that little people learn.
So, on the drive home I said to myself out loud, on a bit of a loop, “Don’t worry Mummy, everyone forgets things sometimes, it’s no big deal, you can pop back and get it.” Forget the kids in the back of the car, this was great therapy for me!
There have been many more times in between. I have had SO many opportunities to practise being kind to myself; broken jars, forgotten wallets, lost keys, the list goes on…..and on…….The worst of all is cross words when I am tired. I hate that so much.
So he has got the be kind to me bit, he has copied it and is (sometimes) kind to me. I just hope it becomes ingrained, so that he is automatically kind to himself as he learns, develops and faces the inevitable challenges life brings.
And being kind to myself works for me too. Although I need some strategies as constantly rooting around in my bag / looking for my keys etc is a bit draining!* And my sense of direction arghhhhh! Only joking. Sort of.
So go and be kind to yourself. Put on that kettle, Run that bath. And most of all, say nice things.
*First published on my old blog. My thoughtful 3.5 year old is now a kind, caring 6.5 year old. Where did that time go??