Getting it Back
I can still remember the first time I got it back. When the whole “be kind to yourself” thing did it’s first full loop.
I was looking for a house to pick up an eBay purchase from. Could I find the property? Could I heck?! Despite a satnav, thorough map research and a detailed description from my OH, I kept driving around the same loop! Frustrating! Just a tinsy bit.
Feeling oh so slightly annoyed with myself, I said crossly “I am so rubbish with directions; this is ridiculous.”
Up pipes a little voice in the back “Don’t worry Mummy, sometimes I can’t do everything first time. Sometimes you just have to try again.”
Tears filled my eyes, he was only three and a half.
Giving it Out; be kind to yourself
I can still remember the first time I consciously tried it. When I took on the whole “Be Kind to Yourself” thing.
We had pretty much just pulled up outside playgroup. My two year old, my six month old and me. Without my baby bjorn it would have been impossible. My number one rule for coping (just) with two very young children had always been that “at least one must be restrained when out and about”.
This is a slight exaggeration and they were exceptions but I needed the option of hands free and the ability to chase after the two year old!
I had forgotten the baby bjorn; I had to go home and get it. We always used to run late so it felt like the whole trip was going to be pretty short and pointless. But I was getting out of the house and we were going to playgroup!
Anyway, I had recently read about the importance of being kind to yourself (for you and also your children), as mirroring is one of the many (biggest?) ways that little people learn.
So, on the drive home I said to myself out loud, on a bit of a loop, “Don’t worry Mummy, everyone forgets things sometimes, it’s no big deal, you can pop back and get it.” Forget the kids in the back of the car, this was great therapy for me!
There have been many more times in between. I have had SO many opportunities to practise being kind to myself; broken jars, forgotten wallets, lost keys, helium balloons delivered to the wrong address, mobile phones in washing machines 🙋♀️😱.
The list goes on…..and on…….and so does my husband. The hardest mistakes to forgive are the cross words when I am tired. I hate that so much. But forgive and be kind to yourself you must.
So biggest has got the be kind to me bit, he has copied it and is (sometimes!) kind to me.
My hope is that it becomes so ingrained that he is automatically kind to himself. Especially as he matures and starts to face life’s inevitable challenges.
Being kind to myself works for me too. Although I need some strategies as constantly rooting around in my bag / looking for my keys etc is a bit draining!* And my sense of direction arghhhhh! Only joking. Sort of.
So go and be kind to yourself. Put on that kettle, Run that bath. And most importantly of all, say nice things to yourself (out loud and in your head!).
*First published on my old blog. My thoughtful 3.5 year old is now a kind, caring 7 year old. Where did that time go??